I recently was encouraged to read The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. I am a quarter of the way through the book and feel like I have been punched in the gut. I am having to read a few pages at a time, sit it down, and really ponder what the author is saying. I have always known what my internal struggles are and that they have a negative impact on my mentality but I never realized that I am getting in my own way, preventing myself from getting to where I need to be.
Some of the things I struggle with that keeps me from reaching my full potential is the fear of failure, overly concerned of what other people’s opinions are on the matter and the self doubt.
Not all fear is bad. Its healthy to see a raging dog running towards you and feel fear. Its normal to get an alert to take shelter that a tornado is on the ground headed your way and be filled with fear. Fear can protect us from dangerous scenarios.
It is NOT healthy to be afraid to try something new because your afraid of not being successful and worried you will hear “I knew that would never work” “I wish you would have listened to me, I could have told you…” or whatever it might be.
I’ve realized that I’m worried about owning my full potential. I hate failing at something. I am my own worst critic and I truly detest it when I try something and I fail.
I have learned that “the only way to get through the fog of fear is to transform it into the clarity of exhilaration.” Breathe through the fear. Feel it. Look at it and take a step forward. By letting the fears turn into excitement you can successfully rewire your own thinking and start to own your own potential.
One of my goals I have set for 2023 is to “Free myself from the self-imposed limitation that is keeping me from my ultimate success”
If you think of your brain like a computer, we are all programed with a certain way of thinking about ourselves. This programming comes from childhood experiences, good and/or bad, our peers, our family, life altering events etc. The author talks about this being Our Upper Limit Problem. Its like a thermostat. Our upper limit keeps us comfortable and keeps us from Our Zone of Genius– our ultimate destination.
Its definitely a challenge to re-wire how you think about yourself. You find your self digging up old roots that have been buried and have held you mentally captive for a long time. You may laugh, get angry and even cry as you work to pull up the roots.
Just like a garden, whats planted can’t grow if its surrounded by weeds. The weeds will choke the life out of the plant. Steal the nourishment and the plant will die. Negative self talk, negative emotions, false beliefs about yourself will drain the life right from your bones and prevent you from taking the Big Leap.
-Kelsey Julian
